Lady Antebellum - One Day You Will

it taunts my heart..

fighting is tiring...;'(

i do things i don't know the way i dealt with it.
when i felt zero achievement, like i failed everything i've done so far
closed my eyes
ignorance
bipolar
the worst kind of personality?
is the moody me better?
though i felt lifted a lot lately
but small little things that crossed me that brought me down
kicked me hard
literally can feel the heart turned to a heavy stone sinking
instantly
yes i have low EQ in my own comfort zone
it sucks that i know my weaknesses
and have to fight hard against it.

what do i have to do
to cheer myself up

should i really mask myself
and joke about the things that make me feel sad
maturity
another challenged
laughing hard for a long time
probably there is bound to be a fall hard coming
tear drops and beaten heart
haven't expected this long night when i woke up..

when had i become so fragile
so prone to the comments and judgement
have i always been?
i didn't care more
now.. should i care less?
button up.. i can slide through this...
please please toughen up
iris...

career planning!?

I NEED TO COOL DOWN
CHILL
i know what i want to do..
sort of...
at least...
so i just need to work out the plan..
step by step.. step by step..
just like working on an assignment
just that career is on a bigger scale..
just like life is on an even bigger scale..
breathe in.. breathe out....
UUUUUEEEERRRRGGGGHHHH
small animals frantically running around in my head..
CAREER PLANNING IS STRESSFUL
but i can't skip it like i skipped UNI PLANNING
because RESPONSIBILITY ROLLS IN
AND I NEED TO ATTEMPT TO CONTROL MY LIFE DIRECTION
cool down.. cool down...
one by one..
small decisions...
small decisions..
i got a few hours ahead..
it's fine.. it's fine...
GAGA


so now i know all these amazing people with wonderful personalities and well articulated resume.. with impressive skills and comprehensive work experience... it is just like the group ranking that i did for practice assignment today.. felt like i have zero accomplishments.. i mean.. i know i did not wasted my life till now.. they all help in building who i am today.. but i can't put any impressive experiences on the table.. it's just built in and within who i am.. stressed much? oh yeah.. say the girl looking at job ad the whole night not knowing what she wants to do and where she wants to go next.. and even if i do, what do i have in my hands to offer to the company? undue stress... walking horizontally.. =(

enjoying the hectic moments... *splash*

how can one be hectic from the first week to the last week of the study period?? i think i have the potential to be a workaholic... finding a lot of things to do to put on my list.. and then procrastinate.. and wait till the last minute to do it.. i i i i i i i.... need a new motto... which is.. an achievement list daily to have something actually done everyday.. instead of keep on postponing and get shock at the long list of tasks to do..
WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO DO and it haven't even involve PREPARING FOR EXAMS!!!!

i'm either a perfectionist or over-achiever or workaholic or plain dumb.. don understand why people excited over graduation and thrown into the workforce.. career climbing is something that i'd go through when the time comes.. and would look forward to in time.. but there is just so much pressure and stress in choosing the right path.. like is this really what i want? but i would worry about that when i really need to.. but i really sad that i don't know what to put on my resume.. what do i have to offer..

Taylor Swift - Stay Stay Stay (RED Album)(Lyrics)

Self-indulgence~~  I didn't know i am really such a perfectionist!!!  but so far~~ i am really happy and feel my life turns out perfect.. of course there are wrong turns and better decisions.. but they are still part of the  perfections~~ i am really really really happy!!!! =) never love so many songs in one album before.. and really a lot from this talented album.. adding to my happiness.. is it really better to have many wishes?? i can't name or list what's mine.. but i know i do have expectations at the back of my mind justifying all my thoughts and actions.. is the answer to 'what's your aspiration' as 'happiness' really childish? that is of course not the answer what my future employer would like to see on my resume.. but this really plays a significant part in my decisions.. +___________+ must i really say i want to contribute to the efficiency in interpreting the market to aid in decision making to attain higher profit????? shooting at the sun..

我爱我

我只想要紧紧地抱着你
不放手不分开
我只想和你贴在一起
没有距离
静静地
听听你的呼吸声
闻你身边的味道
知道我们的心之间是没有距离的
因为
我爱你
和做我爱的事
那快乐是翻倍地
如果我知道
你知道

最近好累
吃太多了
疯了吗
习惯自由
享受现在
真的
"and i never saw you coming
and i'll never be the same"
我真的 很爱我自己 至少, 我有我的全世界
在慢慢地砌上一砖一瓦，别再轻易让我的墙被撞跨了
学长大 这是颤动的过程吧 这条路 还要走多多少啊
别 别 别   骗了自己 我爱我

small talks

is it bad that i got the habit of channeling out most of my feelings?
like i must say it type it just express it
and hey that's why i got this blog
because i know sometimes these are things that people wouldn't care
or maybe people would judge..
but as long as i express it
i don really care what you think of me
because this is really who i am
i write
it can be real
it can be fictional
it can be from a movie i watched, a book i read, a song i listened..
i can imagine i'm someone else and feel deeply in that character
put it in my words and tell the story here
it is not worth the effort to judge anyone by its cover
by his or her actions
even if you thought you know that person so much
i can learn from his behaviors or mistakes
in making myself a better person
because looking past all those grudges and fires he could have incited
it is more useful to just be the bigger one and grow
or so i thought

Angela 張韶涵 - That Girl官方完整HD版MV [That Girl Official HD MV]

foodies

so today i went to buy a pack of tofu that i never tried
and it's no good
i guess i should just stick to the stuffs that i usually eat..
bummer...
or try another new one..
i love the old one still but just donno why..
feel like trying new stuff lately..
=)
ain't my life interesting..
convincing myself to cook at home more..

always always in my mind, affecting me in my every decision. you are. really here.

i couldn't say i couldn't live without ___________
be it anything.. anyone.. any any any reasons...
because it's far too sensitive.. and not true..
you would get over it somewhere.. sometime.. somehow..
it may be devastating from time to time
but life rolls on and you just have to get on with it
there is never the right answer in how you should behave or deal with it
there is never any indication on how many years it would take for a pain so deep
because there is noone's fault
nothing to be blamed on
nothing.. noone...
it may hurts you can talk to noone about it
you can't spill it like just a random part of you
but you would get on and just live with it
it's just not true.
so i wouldn't say. i couldn't live without ____________.
i am really thankful
for everyone that is here.
in my heart.
for my being.
i would love you, till the end of the time.
because i learn. even if i can't take the pain, it would still hurt and torment me.
till i realise, it's time to get up and face the punches again.
regrets are things that could never be changed again.
thus i live my life to achieve all the things i want with all my might.
i love you and this is all that counts.

the world is a happy place.

i'm enjoying so much in my life
i'm so lucky so lucky to have everything i have now
i'm just so happy.
blessed.
nothing to hold back.

i'm just lucky that no one can crashed into my space.
zoned out.

rocking back and forth.. back and forth..
i love Queen Victoria Building in Sydney
i love Block Arcade in Melbourne
i love the London Court in Perth
woooooooooooh
why the arcade in my city not as pretty..



i'm awesome i'm awesome i'm awesome
everything is fine everything is fine everything is fine
i'm feeling good feeling good feeling good
i got time to do whatever things i want
i am in control of myself
my mind is a happy place
i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i
xoxo

wall street~

good days i'd be okay
bad days i'd be okay
some days my feelings would be irrelevant
and it would just stop
because it doesn't matter

okay closure closure... before i go into that downward spiral again.

Joey and Phoebe belong together

golden heart really only belongs to on screen shows.. it's what people wish for.. but not exactly how things work out.. phoebe is so awesome =)

Rachel and Chandler (Friends): Nobody said it was easy

it was another stupid idea.. alright with my unstable state of mind i can't really make any best actions.. so staying at current state is probably the best.. i mean it takes more than one person to maintain any friendship right.. i'm walking on sunshine.. =)

i did nothing wrong.. so i think i can now stop my 'stop thinking to stop overthinking'

my room smells chocolate-y~ because i spilled cocoa powder on the table this morning when rushing through breakfast. i was wide awake at 430am.. and got up three hours later to get ready for class.. what an awesome morning.. i am better than alright.. friends are like scolding me for reminding they not gonna come back again.. but i also explained i excited for them to get into the working world.. no pain no gain.. oh and i am actually good at being alone.. as long as i am busy.. no harm.. could be productive and get some serious work done too.. kinda look forward to it now.. =) i guess i should change my air ticket soon.. another year missing new year at home.. .. what a complex feelings i have got.. hard work would pay off someday.. i need to find an industry soon.. work work work.......

facebook is for people i don't know.. people who don't care
whatsapp is for people i do know.. people i do care..
skype is for people i do care.. people i do love..
emails and postcards are for people i care.. i love..
and phone calls is for people i really care.. people i really love..
spreading happiness is how relationships between people work
people don't relate to negative emotions and try to avoid them
that is for the best.
communication portrays your whole character..
what you say would form who you are in others' impressions
people try to keep things private
it's the norm
and then you slowly put trust and faith into the relationship
so that you don't get hurt
so that everyone gets what they want from it
living in this world
you choose who you want to be
and i like to go against the flow
=)

it's not always i can find someone i can be open about
i can be totally me
whoever stranger whatever reasons behind
it's precious. and yes i'd try to grab that back. when there is a door.

this is the right decision.. stick to it..

let it burn let it burn let it burn..
poooophhhhhh~
burn to ashes~~
ashes~~
ashes~~
eenie meenie
i am on a good track
i know what i am doing
i have the power
i have self-control
i can i can i can
i know it is no easy job
but i am gonna go pass this and be proud one day..
no no no no no no no no nono not doing anything stupid
more than enough is done.......
words said..
feelings portrayed..
tears gushed..

turning down a spontaneous travel =(

awh i am a bit tired to hang around  me now.. i get utterly depressed in part of me... and some part booming with happiness.. and then some part so energetic to kick off my uni work.. then then.. it's just not cool.. i decide to not think about sydney... no matter how i really want to go.. start being  a responsible young lady alright? reasons not to go:
1. i have been there and last time we have got free transport around by friends, this time, depending on public transport.. (we gonna live in city.. not really a prob..)
2. i haven't look up where to go to travel around sydney.. even though we going to live right in chinatown.. it would be quite pointless if all to do is just shopping and eating.. (owh owh but is with SUYI!!! +_+)
3. i have to save money in case i have to travel more in summer and next year.. (okay this is valid reason because i did really traveled a lot this year)
4. i am kind of on diet and don want to eat out so much again.. i just went and eat a lot in perth right!! (true true.. i gonna puke eating so much again since i can't resist good food)
5. i have got a group project due on sunday so if i get back on sat it would be a bit rush to finish it off.. (so totally not true because even if i am here we gonna start on friday anyway)
6. money money money.. be responsible alright!! STOP SPENDING SO MUCH!! +_+..

this is another decision that i might regret later.. but just being sensible alright.. the thrill of impromptu travel is really fun.. but i need to learn talking some sense into myself now.. there would be another chance to travel with suyi to elsewhere next year and so on.. and i would always see her since i go there so much.. it's just a bit too much to handle in my head and i can't really enjoy in such a short trip.. maybe not the perfect solution.. but this is what i should do.. probably this is the right decision that a sharp young lady should make.. rest assured i can be sensible under pressure..

it's the right thing.. it's the right thing.. maybe a bit sad about not going.. but one day i'd be proud of my decisions.. at least one can always hope...

refusing to sleep when i am sleepy

how many nights i just sit right in front of here.. doing nothing.. mind blank.. super late into the night.. 2 or 3 am and just don't want to go to bed.. even though i am downright tired.. just being unproductive.. and not achieving what i want to do disappoints me.. i am really tired really sleepy.. but i don't know what is it keeping me from tucking into my bed.. absurd.. getting totally unreasonable.. should i go to sydney? don really know what to do there.. it maybe just an exciting idea.. okay don go.. put whatever that should be behind my back at the back.. AT THE BACK.. tonight.. i'm gonna sleep on it.. i give in..

silent bloggers

contradictions

do you believe in meeting the right person?
do you believe in finding the right person for the rest of your lives?
do you believe in trying and figuring things out?
do you believe in stopping deleting and playing?
whatever that is
there is no right or wrong answer
and i don stress myself over answering these..
food for thoughts~
seriously i should think about the ancient architecture contradicts with the modern facade in the shopping prescint, the sophisticated customer niche in the high pedestrian flow area, the big shopfront display window with small entry door, the differentiated tenants compared to other retails... target market blah blah blah....
contradictions..
how do you believe in marriage if you don't believe in relationships?
how do you not believe in relationships when you don't get hurt?
how do you get hurt when you don't rip your heart out?
it's just a cycle.
what goes around comes back around.

伤心太久是会伤身的

okay.. here i am.. blogging again.. when i actually aim to finish off my remarketing and remanagement of the historical arcade in two days.. so that i can fly off to sydney to celebrate birthday with my girl.. =( and i can't because i had little info to write on right now.. inspection tomorrow hopefully can help me in my flow of words.. god bless.. and so i can come and write off whatever is preoccupying my mind ALL DAY... again.. words fail me.. i can't seems to put it into words.. 零零碎碎的片刻。。 是折磨。。还是折腾。。我伤心。。他今天又会帮我整理我的行李。。又麻烦了。。更陌生的陌生人。。我不敢想象他在想什么。。因为我自己。。不该想的太多太多了。。我今天。。很努力地装我过得很好。。我毕竟真的很快乐。。可是他的那一块。。真的割得很深。。回忆是会渐渐淡去的。。我和自己说。。他都没有想什么。。拜托我醒醒别陷了。。爬出来很考毅力的。。伤心太久是会伤身的。。我。。还有很多很重要的人。。要去爱。。值得爱。。

high tea at Hilton for SuYi's 21st. i love the smile from the people i love. i love that you are truly happy and can share it with me. i love that i can share all my happiness around you. i love that you wouldn't left me.. i love that you don't run away from my attachment when i get lost.. i love that my madness and craziness don scare you away.. i love that you take time to understand me and don't judge.. i love that you are my save net.. my crying tree.. my garbage bin.. i thank you for hugging me when i need it most.. i thank you for just being here throughout all this time.. i thank you.. for letting me in.. my playmate, my eating buddy, my kbox companion... i am going to miss you like crazy.. i can call you all the time.. and no it wouldn't be the same.. our lives would be so different when you start working.. if that's a valid reason why people estranged.. you would be so far away..  i really really hate goodbyes.. and i have to do it so many times this year.. the good thing is.. at least.. this is not forever.. at least there is something to hold on to.. i love this year.. i have to remember.. this year has given me so much so much.. be myself alright.. be my rightful self..

to stop the girl from overthinking, she needs to stop thinking. simple.

you are like poison.
i was really really really really good
even when you talked to me i thought i handled it well
so well
and then it came crawling back
i know
i am trying
to balance it out
this time
i am not falling
i am not falling
i am not falling
there is a lot a lot a lot
of things i have to do
a lot on my mind
a lot of people i want to meet
a lot of things i have to handle
and i am already done with your square
finished off whatever i had
nothing left nothing left
i am the good new me
happy happy cheerful girl
cherishing every single moment of my life
you are a big part of me
you still are
just that i changed it into something else
nothing less
but nothing more
just stay there
and don't creep
i can do this
kbox for the first time since that night
and i din know
it reminded me of that night i sang before i struck the stroke
no no no no no no more tears
just a clean dry me
not going back
moving forward.

the human mind is a wonderful thing.. it forgets pain so you can go out and get some more

i love listening to you on the phone and we wait.
i love talking to you and you listen.
i love listening to you and say nothing
it's intense

i let go of my hand
when it's time to move on
i can't keep doing that
even though i really really want to
moment of impact
can crushed me
but there is nothing else to be done

keep the cigarette i don't smoke
keep the beers i don't drink
keep the pictures i don't burn
keep the thoughts i shove away

they say lighting japanese lanterns
is letting go of the past
i say lighting my inner desires
burns me to the core

i love me
for being me
i change
for the better me
i change
for the next better you

closer
to my fairy god wedding dress
i feel you

相信爱

因为想通了
所以我可以把想写的都写出来
我敢去想没有想过的
因为锻炼了自己
拿得起就得学会放下
敢走的路
就要昂首阔步
我的思路
我的逻辑
我的世界
要看得越来越阔
越来越远
学习永不间断
因为我讨厌
活得太狭隘
把自己陷在框框
那 不是我
要走的路
现在要自己一砖一瓦地铺

我真的 可以自己过很好
我相信过 我走过的
寻回那份真
我相信
我幸福

满满的爱
让我好满足我的生活
谢谢
一切的一切
让我很珍惜
一切的一切
过去、现在、未来

Presentation reflects

it's fresh
this time
it's my australian groupmates who said that
they were thinking what would happen if they got into accident before the presentation
and i was so happy that i don't think of this at all
or positive
or just simply consumed
hahhahahaa
anyway it was over
though tom didn't got his slides up but it was really great
love working on this case..
best team work ever
i guess we all work well under pressure..
hope we would be ready to kick in the next time when life give us short notices too

Felix Baumgartner's Top Freefalls

the adrenaline to fly over
it's unbelievable
breatheless to fight off the fears
incredible

if there's no goals left
what you gonna do?
so you fight the fear
you discover new challenges
counting your blessings

Mission Accomplished - Red Bull Stratos - World Record Freefall

the beauty.. the peace.. the magnificient..
absolute beauty..

you are not the reason someone died. it's not your choice. tell yourself that.

when you live long enough and you lost enough people
you will learn to appreciate the memories you have
stop grudging on to the one you forgot to make

the lucky one

if he had to die for someone else to live
what is the choice for the others
other than to live it bright and strong
the kid who watched his dad crashed under his treehouse to rescue him
how to live with that.
how to be under that pressure and be okay

he is the reason he lived
why did he make that choice
we can only accept that
it's all arranged
it's all faith
that determines it all
if it's not
i don't know how to live

温暖。家

我真的好幸福
身在这个家
很爱
家里的每一格
一起经过的大大小小
曾经走过的路
吵过的架
好爱你们
爸爸妈妈
一家人
我真的很爱我们

my heart still lies here. even when it hurts. it's always the place to go.

我哭我闹我撒娇
我疯我狂我定格
我成长我抵抗
我懦弱我坚强
我逃避我面对
拥有爱护我的你们
是我今生就大的幸福和满足
谢谢家的存在
让我可以开怀地笑

记得美丽的昨天
玩在完美的今天
更 灿烂地期待， 每一个明天

Fancy writing what hurts my shell

knocked on my right knee and bruised it
on the table corner
right next to my bed
when i just want to start wearing short skirts..
oh well i still do
but now everyone can see the bruise there
uglehhh
and it still hurts when i touch it!!
guess i'm getting old and can't take the knocks and falls so much now
not that i did fall down that much when i'm younger

these days
flashed back the time i fainted while yoga-ing
that was complete shock
first time ever like i can forget to breathe
oh well the first time that i can remember i fainted completely
no i don't want to experience it again
it's just like reminding me
i got a reason/purpose to live so just keep breathing..
i should okay i need to really get starting on yoga
slacked like three months.. +_+
iris ah iris...

do you believe in selective memory?
i do now..
because maybe that's why i forgot totally on my major first practice case
when i said shut the whole thing down
the whole period just went out from my mind
maybe in the recycle bin..
coz i felt it's leaking out a bit today..
hahahhahahahha
=D

memory is a weird thing

i'm reading back my posts.. and i don remember.. the bad thing that i did on tuesday... and the day after.. i knew the one on monday in david parker's class.. because it was so bad.. but maybe the ones happened after is not big enough to fit into my brain.. is this good? guess so.. but really have to start memorising stuffs.. lets start with lyrics =) haven't been using the memorising function for a good long time.. hmm.. start with this one? it's so funny i love it.

金色心情

我知道
我一直喜欢在外面
往外跑 往外跑
看世界 看风景
绑不住
能多远就多远
幸福的日子可以很长
因为我也享受
努力奋斗的日子
我真真感谢
我拥有的一切
我得到的一切
我未得到的一切
属于我和不属于我的一切
越来越喜欢
这样的自己
玩美

internationals
cross around the world
so glad so glad
i own the chances in doing what i had been doing
and for what i am doing

起步点不一样
看的世界不一样
烦恼不一样
开心也不一样
生活不一样
爱的人 事 务 也不一样
你懂 我在说什么吗？
启发 我爱的生活

最近 很爱这首歌

May God have mercy on us

remember?
don't scatch it
and i'll be fine.
just memorise the twenty minutes presentation
get the 30% work in front of omg david parker
and i will be fine
everything will be fine
better
best
just get the best of me out there
alright?
memorise the script
remember all of it
tonight
is going to be fine.

seriously..
what's the odds you chose TONIGHT out of ALL NIGHTS?
i'm fine. i'm fine.
i am perfectly concentrating on my script.
nothing else matters.

don't do if you can't afford to lose.

it's true it would stop itching when you stop scratching.
in food.
in study.
in social.
in addictions.

close it shut when the desire to scratch comes.
with every might.
and try harder.
=)

i don't want to feel.
a thing.
because i don't afford to.
rupture again.

Incredible happiness

不喊痛，不一定沒感覺. 不期望，不一定沒要求. 不說話，不一定沒心聲.

干嘛那么辛苦哇

是啦

在人前

应该这样？

just that my expressions would give me away mostlynot that i don't want to pretendso i just say what i want what i feel what i thinkof course mostly as appropriate to people's tasteoh well at my consideration..sometimes i do go overboard..unintendedand awhh.. hate it.. but gotta live with the consequences

i am just so so so so so glad so gratefulthis year i can say it againit is such an amazing year and it is the best year of my life!!! so happy it rings a bell.. because i am pretty surei truly had felt thismany many times since i grew up

thankful

for all the things that happened and not happen

forever remembered and forever forgotten

soon to come and soon to not come

incredibly happy

living the moment

^^

Dawn

if sunshine doesn't brighten up my day, you will.
if raindrop doesn't form a song, you will.
if flower doesn't bring me colors, you will.
if grass doesn't bring me calm and peace, you will.

your charms brighten me
your skills challenges me
your reflections stir me
your quietness silenced me

remind me of who i am
inspiring me who i can be
hug me kiss me and bring me love
know me like no one ever does

this is beautiful
words don't bring me down
this is beautiful
my dawn before darkness

it has been bad lately

不想回家
总是把一切变得复杂
总是把好的变得负的
能怎样呢

i don't i don't i don't
want to come home
everything gets complicated
good things can become bad in your mind
my smiley eyes can get teary in an instant

is it me
is it under a bad spell
is it the bad impression from all bad times
is it that i lost hope
and i fail to hold on tight
and fail to remember

i hate that i lost patience
i hate that i lost my behavior
i hate that i throw tantrums
and regret the second i did so

i do love you
i do appreciate you
i do i really do
i kind of not sure
whether i have more of this problem
or you

expressions
i fear
i will get deeper trouble

you are so close to me.. is this weird?

Time... Slow down.. I don't want to fast track my life.. and i am so happy the way with all the things that it is now.. =) I felt like she came back today.. hugging me from behind.. while I'm doing my work.. it felt different.. like she is happy too.. the way things working out on me.. blessed.. maybe.. i called you a lot lately.. it just came out.. and i don't feel not right.. and you are here.. it's beautiful.. and the date is coming nearer.. and i have no intentions on slowing down or pacing faster to get to that state all over again.. i love you.. i wish i had said that more and you had heard it..

smiling all day =)

today
i have no idea why
i am smiling all the time
i have no idea
i feel lifted all the time
i am just so happy
without any obvious reasons
and i have no fuss of finding it out
i am just happy
even when somethings go wrong
or even when i hit obstacles...
this is just me?
i don't need to know why i'm so happy
just like i don't need one to feel sad
when my heart just said so
i feel so..
emotions
i love you.

yes i did it again
third day in a row
aaaawesome
so sleepy
so tired greattt

i love what i do

nothing i can't handle

time goes by

and i savor every single moment

of stress

of work

of tied up brain work

felt dizzy today while reading a case

probably low glucose?

ah well 

go back to the time when i regretted one thing i do every day

owh today is the second day in consecutive regretted something i said. 

maybe it would stop soon.

oh well today's is better to dwell on than yesterday 

at least is not in front of the class

i'm so tired

oh gosh i need more time to shut down

not looking, not hearing, not eating, not absorbing

nothing

not a single thing. 

i am really really really happy and yes.. i dono how is it possible with all these going on

rambles rambles rambles

talk so much live so much

that i won't even remember after a period of time

need to find some help

who forgets an entire research project just weeks after completion?

who have such emotional swing and cravings constantly?

emotional crush

oh well i knew it had been a while since i felt such deep emotion

but who knows it would comes at a cost

brainy

works well

excited for the end of this month!!! 

=)

it's like so soon when every single hours slips by

under pressure

everything counts

it's harsh. just deal with it. your problem is in fact not a problem.

uni
i don want to do this because i have to
i don want to do this because everyone else is doing it
i don want to do this because my parents say this is good
i am figuring it out

people
i am just me
i believe in who i am
i do what i think is right
i feel what i put my heart onto

career
i am doing something i love
i am earning money i need
i am going to afford my own living
i am not going to do things only under pressure

accept it
my life is perfect the way it is
i am always grateful
even if you don think it is a strong attribute
i love who i am.

"the more you know who you are and what you want,
the less you let things upset you."

i don't have to lost everything to be free to do anything.
i know it's a great deal to know this.

hey professor

seriously the day after david parker's class isn't helpful..
if not destructive...
oh gosh..
may help in the long run
but right now
just add to the mess
thank you so much

disconnected zone

sometimes i don't like all the things that is going on in my brain
those negative ones..
so i have to write it all out in the cyberspace..
it wouldn't make sense when i look back later..
but it feel if i don pour it out..
i'd just go insane..
deactivated my facebook right after i said i want to feel connected
guess what?
facebook doesn't make me feel so
oh well..
it's just a tool
complete shut down is good too..
gives me some comfort in my own zone..
that noone can break in..
=)
switched off my mobile again...
maybe IM soon..
concentration..
at least finish one thing before midnight??

please do wonders...

i lost
my concentration
AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!
damn it
has been like 4 hours in front of the same slide
just read it read it read it
=(
dismay....

i'm home

i sign in my IM all the time when I have my laptop on..
sometimes i got lonely but i just don't want to talk..
it just feel a little bit okay.. a little bit better..
to know that some people are around there..
i don't think this is how it functioned for everybody..
but it is somewhat my safety net..
i make phone calls all the time..
i messages those i love... even when i have nothing to talk about..
sometimes i just need voices.. responses..
it's a bit scary to get unconnected when you want someone..
a comfort when you have someone important always around..
connections...
filling my heart with all these people i love..
dangerous move
but i like it..

it's a bit quiet.. it's a bit dark.. it's a bit scary

Night in uni..
Halloween party was on..
and in the computer barn I stayed..
completing assignments...
worn out..
but no where near completion...
sign to go home
=)

i love you.

在爱里转圈圈

我好开心
因为好忙好忙
一大堆功课要做
是不是寂寞疯了
反正这就是我的疯狂
没人爱管

笑笑过一生
潇潇