Friday 23 November 2012

growing with you

when I'm really really sad, I really really cry.. really really loud... and stop. when there is this wall, that noone else can understand... I just have to figure out the way to pull myself through. done it for years. of course I should do it for the next few decades. keeping a sadness is tormenting. when letting go is not an easy option. i just don feel right. and it is just not justified. to let my sorrow go. I love you.
I guess its true one can be trying to live better for herself and be nice to others at the same time. when you live not only for yourself. and it's for someone else. willingly. not for another's expectations but for someone else. you just try to be really really great. it's not easy. to turn the thoughts around but I do know. how would this person feels.
no there is no cure. even when you know millions of others lost someone they love too. because growing older is a phase for you. realising bigger loss become a part of you. taking up responsibilities would be controlling you. loosen up. for those who love unconditionally. it took years for acceptance. it took years for the grief. while growing up. just never end. till I meet you again.
maybe in a better place. maybe you are just moving on. I do too. but truth is. growing up. gets a bit  complicated. and I'm sorry. when I got depressed and down. every living moment counts. so I try to only think about. I love you.
why did I talk to people who couldn't care less. I feel bad showing people this side of me. you are private. and I need to live it to myself. stop.

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