sleep deprivation

it's a terrible feeling to not be able to sleep at this hour. it's 5.30 in the morning. this really irregular sleeping hours had been going on for the past month. not like i can afford to lose so much of my time even though it is holiday. So many things to do and yet all left undone. there is pressure, fear and motivation all at the same time. yet i am still too wide awake and could only feel dead tired as the sun rises. why did this all happened.. maybe it started in early June when classes ended and I start losing all my grips. to have some self-discipline and take care of myself. it's true. Structure and routine can be very soothing. five months of that and I lose to temptations.