so here is what my life right now like

while i was in uk: 

everything is pretty

i got time of my life

plenty of free time to do all the things i like

all things settled

and free to go around

eating so healthily cooking everyday at home

right now:

uni assignments and group assignments every week

three final uni exams

finding new place to stay again

uni fees

job and internship

flight ticket home delay delay delay

mummy call that should not be ignored 

i need to:

cook at home to eat healthily again

stop watching tv 

start yoga again 

find better inspiration for everyday living

happiness, the ones i treasure the most

talk to mummy because she always needs to know i'm okay.. so i need to be better than okay..

it's simple.

me. happy. one thing at a time. nothing more. nothing less. 

clear head and i would be great. 

=)

无意间 以前的旧照片 带来点点心痛

涂鸦涂鸦

超级感谢
未来的每一天
我都得忙得喘不过气

我可以过
没有上线的生活

不开心的日子消逝
只想努力生活
放肆地开心

寂寞很吵
我很安静

有点动摇的想窥探
可是我知道
我的心理还没准备好
所以还不可以
不可以

怎办呢
一层一层地
认真面对
真真的我

我埋头爱
我会抱你亲你说我爱你
所以我懂
我得先学会不想你不爱你
毕竟我还没认识你

和自己说好了
爱自己
我
幸福

那个消逝的午后

遇见一位过客
打开了心里千千结
只是因为
天时地利人和

因为
身在陌生国度
因为
你是陌生人
因为
在你面前我没有过去
因为
我没必要担心你会离开

开心
雀跃
在自导的戏里
欢笑过
哭泣过
狠心过
走过不曾走过的路
步步侵心
鸫

只是当时
一切都对

妈咪又说我变了 不再像以前那么叽喳爱说话 变静了

小時候，幸福是一件東西，得到了，就是幸福；
長大了，幸福是一個目標，達到 了，就是幸福；
成熟後，幸福是一種心態，領會了，就是幸福。


我只想 找回我领会了的幸福。。




来到伯斯和姐姐吃饭睡觉、照顾身体
听歌、写作业、看书、电视剧、谈天、写字
出门、照相、晒太阳、淋雨、待在家
我呀 过分幸福

 有很多种种 可以回想 可以幻想
可以期望 可以奢望
毕竟长大是一辈子的过程

there was a lot of times
i regretted that
i should have done this
i should have said that
i shouldn't have blabbed this
i shouldn't have wrote that
so i took the leap of faith
and live with no regrets
doing all the things i would
getting a grasps of all the actions i would take
seeing the world in the true sense
it at least
feels like living..

life is
a play
a roller coaster
a movie
a book
a bolster
with the best parts all coming unexpectedly

ups and downs
all true all honestly
feels so different
feels so good

是时候调整
曾经让人闯进的心
收拾心情
面对该认真的生活
毕竟关闭了多年的心好不容易打开了
真
要好好生活了
美美的
21

be happy

i'm happy that i know all the lines
i'm happy that i know i would know what i am doing
i am happy for all the things that i did
i am happy that i can be all good and awesome
i am happy and i need to know it.
embrace all the good things i do have
i know.

如果从来一次
i won't take a different move.
i'm sure.

and yes.
she doesn't know.
and shouted at my already shuddered pieces.
hold together.
because i can.

eat. shop.
no heart. no feelings.
no taste. no ginger.
songs replayed over and over.
to the silent ear.

shut down.

hey sis

i don want to eat
i don want to sleep
i don want to take care of myself.

but sometimes
life don give you options.
long lists of deadlines to meet
long lists of things to do and get over with
life is rolling
so shut up
because there is nothing called a break.

brainfreeze.

so you smile when your family is here.
so you say you are okay when you are not.
so you say everything is alright when you are falling apart.
so that you don attract attention.
so that you don give traces that you fall down.

it's a little while
they know you.
they still picked up when you don smile as brightly as you always do.
they noticed your silence when you used to talk all of the time.
they  knew. or so you hope.

just leave me a little while.
freeze.
and go back to being great.
after a while.
a while.

^my distorted brain is failing to write with flows^this is new^

其实我早知道

左边手背是为痛失姐姐的疤痕
那是悲痛的撞击
那么突然
那么惊扼

现在
我右边手背为了他留着痛哭的咬痕
为了苏醒而把自己摇醒的绝择
咬伤割伤烫伤

眼泪知道
单相思
陷得太甚
只能逃了
期望下一个你
不一样

took the risk to fall
took the risk to feel
my heart was once opened
despite all the insecurities from past
and the chances are
i had the best time in my life
and the best reasons to smile then

it takes time
when that is all i ever had
nothing more.
coming to this different city
all feels fresh again.
leaving all contacts possible
till i am sound again.

promise.

absolute closure.