信念

１。只想快樂的事
２。只做能改變的行動
３。只為了更美好的自己努力

Be happy. Be healthy. Be self-reliant.

Nobody can tell you what to do except for yourself. 

Life is simple. Be happy. Be healthy.

He is a great friend and he had done great. 

His time was up. And he had been caring and warm. 

That's all. 

He was trusted to never hurt me, though he had done so deeply unknowingly.

Scene 1. He liked me but it was not the right time yet. 

Scene 2. He liked me but he was not ready yet.

Scene 3. He liked me but he was still mourning over his past relationship.

Scene 4. He liked me but he was not brave enough he is making the right choice. 

Scene 5. He liked me but I have moved away and he is not going into another long distance again.

Scene 6. He liked me but I have moved away and he does not know that I am only a few words away from moving back to his side. 

Scene 7. He liked me but I have moved away and he does not know that I have feelings for him.

Scene 8. He liked me but I have moved away and he does not know that I am denying my feelings for him because I am new to this thing. 

Scene 9. He liked me but I have moved away and he does not know that I am denying my feelings for him because I am only guessing he just got single.

Scene 10. He liked me but I have moved away for no apparent reason even though it was maybe because I really liked him. Which just doesn't make sense. 

Scene 11. He doesn't like me. 

Scene 12. He doesn't have feelings for me. 

Scene 13. He doesn't know that he has my full trust on not hurting me. 

Scene 14. He doesn't know that he has been very important to me.

Scene 15. He doesn't know that my whole self-support system break down after he stopped contacting me. 

Scene 16. He doesn't respect me. 

Scene 17. He doesn't think I deserve his respect and his time. 

Scene 18. He think that I am a calculative girl who wants him even when I shouldn't.

Scene 19. He doesn't think that he meant a lot to me. 

Scene 20. He doesn't know that I need him as a friend, a support, a person.

Scene 21. I think too much about him.

Scene 22. He thinks that I only want him because he is no longer around.

Scene 23. He doesn't want to know. He never asked. 

Scene 24. I'm a freak and turned into a crazy woman for the longing of him. 

Scene 25. I actually doesn't like him. It is all in my head. 

Scene 26. I actually doesn't like him. It is only because he is not around any more. 

Scene 27. I am only grateful for him. I will always remember him. 

Scene 28. I believe in myself and get through any hardships. 

Scene 29. I thank him for waking my dream box and live like a human again. 

Scene 30. I am not regretting anything.

Scene 31. I accept life and work towards the better.

Scene 32. I can be absolutely lost but find the right pathway again.

Scene 33. He is a friend. He is a good friend.

Scene 34. He is no longer around for me.

Scene 35. He has done his time. And I have done my time for him.

Scene 36. One day if he knows and contact me, I will have no more unwanted feelings for him.

Scene 37. I wrote it out and let it be here. Ends here.

Scene 38. He lives in a dream box, in a history box, where all perfections exist.

Scene 39. I will move on. I thank him. To a better and more beautiful future. 

Scene 40. His name would not stung my heart any more.

Right choices, wrong choices, they are not all so definite. 

Sit

I will write your name down. Because I miss you.
I am grateful to have met you to have known you.
Every single time I wrote about you I was hoping it is the last one.
But it is just like waves. And creep me up at those unexpected times.
So I have to write it out and express.
For you are no longer around to listen.
Long distance relationship is hard.
But this shit I am in right now
Is worse.
Self-framed trap.

You are my worst best friend because you know my defense system eats me up. You are my worst best friend because my entire functioning is suffering impairment. You are my worst best friend because I can't blame you hate you or forget you. You are my worst best friend because from the moment I trusted you I had to become a crazy lady before I can help myself up again. Be simple.

相信自己的判断

一定要进步自己

为了成长

为了信心 

为了未来

为了自己

One year of denial finally ended. 

In the pursuit of happiness. 

I'm glad and grateful for all I went through.

And accept the results and everything that I get

Open heart. The feeling of control is back. And this feels good. 

Almost lovers

Happiness, lucky, trusts, gratitude, love, fear, guilts, regrets, shames, despairs. When all I need are courage and acceptance. 

For I haven't lose faith in humanity.

For I have been contented till I was put in ambiguity.

For I have been blinded and abruptly took a leap in faith. 

For I have been fighting against my heart for our mistakes. 

For all the sleepless nights when he used silence as his weapon

For his disrespects and cowardly acts bringing pain and sufferings

For when our precious friendships turned sour as his responses turned irrational 

For when every true feelings got stabbed with words unspoken things unexplained

For when he was worth the wait to sort things out and receive forgiveness easily

For when I learn only I can take care of myself and no one else can help.

Acceptance is the key. That true friendship is a distant memory. He is forgiven for he brought light to so much. And I'm ready to continue fighting my challenges in life. Full heartfelt. 

Soul

For today I would be true and blunt 

To put myself to a rest

To make me refocus and believe again 

I was deeply unsure of what your actions and intentions were

I was afraid that you would hurt me if I stayed 

I was kept in the blind of whether my feelings were returned or it was all a hoax

So I left

It wasn't a good enough reason

It didn't kept me from being hurt

It didn't stop me from being burnt

For everyday I had doubted myself and pulled away from living my life

It was a dark place

That I couldn't speak about

You lighted my world

Enlightened my heart

So important and heavy

And I trusted that you wouldn't hurt me.

I waited. And the answer was

I shouldn't had been afraid.

I shouldn't had left things unsaid.

Because broken souls

Took a god lots of guts to fix.