High school drama

I know that I need to apologize for the actions I took words I said however long before as long as I have hurt people. Part of me still stubborn. I passed death and woke up feeling like I have no friends to count on. I had no numbers to call no letters to write. I woke up at a teenage thinking why am I still alive. I know I have to work through coz it is for my father,mother,brother and sisters. Days just gone by and now I know I just wanted to survive it. I thought all I did before that were wrong leading me to have noone to hold on to. Those were the days I pretended to be someone I am not. Made awful lots of mistakes didn't know anyone to trust or who would have listened. I din think I am the only one with problems so why burden others with mine. The less misfortune the better. I am not ready at that age, din think anyone would be. It made me very unhappy on the inside but tried hard to ignore it, not dealing with it. So I made mistakes, became a character that I vividly remember. I lived in my own world. I don't want to say sorry for speaking the truth and what I felt at that time. I remember this mistake clearly. Who am I to judge others when I was a wreck. One day I might feel sorry. But who says sorry to me for the one I lost, things I missed, happiness I feared when I needed it the most. I love people I am sorry I didn't know how and who to open up. I took wrong turns and left it behind. I blamed myself for everything and took me almost my whole life not to be consumed. I looked back and feel happy to have lived it. Though I still need the courage and strength to mend a scar that I can't heal alone. I appreciate everything and everyone, keeping it simple and happy. 都活著，不用留遺憾的。