I'm not heartless

We feel everything.
I can hide it sometimes and say the words against my heart even though I hurt myself.
Your warmth is intensifying.
Every single moment spent.
I need strength to fight against it, running away.
I'm sorry I got hurt before.
I'm sorry I don't know when can I start believing again.
But I know you are really really good.
Like. Really good.

不哭不闹不是乖宝宝

安静很吵
安静不了
歹说胡说
安静不好

十年一日
十句一字
依稀是会
意字是会

不言可以不笑
不掩可以不演
戳了破了就算了

终究是知道
时间不会冲淡
放下才是答案

Last day in Perth

There was a lot of you. I miss you. And I tried everything. To Let it go.

So I'm blessed. For the wonderful time. I won't stop. To be true. To be me.

It's the best thing you thought me. That I won't spend any more time to be less of me.

I love me. I love that I make decisions for myself. I love that I had let myself run free and lost and be defeated. I don't like losing. But I needed the truth. 

It's not nothing. I went all this way before I cared so much for you. I don't know whether you will do the same thing for me. I cried a thousand times. I wrote a thousand letters. I said this is the last time for a thousand times. I don't know what would have happened if it was another route. But if it is meant to be, it will happen for me. I did what I did for you. I'm always thankful to have met you. Because I know that I will find myself a way. To be a better me. To always go up. To always always grow up. 

To everyone that I love and stood by me, I will always be grateful. I am excited to find out how my life is going to turn out. And finding the passion back in me to push me, getting to the better and wonderful me, I Won't stop. And I'm so blessed. To never have to look back and wonder what ifs. 

People see what they wanted to see. And you had taken me.

 

Paper town.

两年的峰回路转

总觉得回家后就会告别social media 一阵子了

失去了自己那么久 终于到可以交上那差强人意的成绩单

很伤心吗 又懊悔吗 一一想想吧 

回到刚毕业时 会留下来吗  还是会

回到刚搬来珀斯时 还会留吗。不该留的

该问他的没问 

该过的生活没过

该追的梦没追

该赚的钱没赚

赔了时间金钱感情

自己的定力毁得一团糟

可是

感谢时间教会我

什么人值得信

什么话值得忍

什么事值得做

纪律 生活方式 观念

规定了生活沉湎

今天所作的会决定明天的成果

最重要的就是你要对得起自己的心

人生是自己在过的

别再把任何人的事摆在自己的前面

而赔了自己的人生

自己是可以决定自己的命运的

Unspoken but blamed - Perth

Maybe one day I will forgive you and forgive myself.

Till then.

May all focus go on rewinding the damage.

Reciprocate the loss. 

For losing him was a bet.

Losing hope was unforeseen.

Chasing back faith is a belief.

Road not taken won't be relived.

No regrets. 

Remember to always take full control. 

In all aspects. 

It's a wrap. Like getting out of a trap. A bling bling honey trap. Happily got myself into it. With a strong faith that I won't question the what-ifs and what-nots. Time gives answers. I'm so blessed to have everyone to surface me from where I was through this journey. To be with me, believe in me, supporting me. Would you have done otherwise? The answer will always be, it is the best decision within all conditions. #retrospective #wanderluster #toottoottrain